Knock-Knock! Who’s there? A shit ton of money!
Pretend to be your own customer and give what you wrote a read. Don't really feel like buying, right? That's exactly how your customers feel. But why the worried look? My words are the BANG for the BUCK your copy is missing to land 'em, lock 'em, and cash 'em out.
Kick Away the Competition with
My Kick Ass Copy
The most solid way to bag your potential customers is by triggering their happy place and giving them a meaningful laugh. Source: Trust Me Bro
Imagine a highschool party. Now imagine the most awkward person you have ever met at that party who doesn’t know how to engage, interact, or even talk to anyone. That’s the current situation of more than 90% of the online brands. They don’t know how to connect with their target audience, let alone convert them into sales. But I can fix that. With Kick Ass Copy, your brand is about to go from ‘Beta Introvert’ to ‘Sigma Chad’!
Things You Will Find Me Useful For
It ain’t much but it's honest work!
Slide Into Their DMs
Don’t mind taking a risk? Then let’s get straight to the point and send a cold email that gives off a stalky vibe!
Long Rant On A Topic
Blogs/Articles/Technical
If you think your readers can take it, let’s put together a lot of words about your product, service, brand, or whatever and bore them into buying your stuff.
Borderline Manipulation
Ad Copies
Hey, don’t give me that look. You know it, I know it. If you wanna sell, you gotta play around a bit with the information. What do you think I am doing on this landing page?
The Blind Date Expert
Web Copy
Let’s make sure they see your brand, hear what you have to say, and never ghost you ever again. [And by they I mean your potential customers]
Constant Client
Coordination
Customer
Satisfaction
100%
Ownership
Money Back
Guarantee
Industry Proven
Professionals
Client Reviews I Totally Didn’t Write Myself
[No Seriously, I Didn’t]
hello
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Michael Andrews
Entrepreneur
Designed User-Friendly
Website
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Samantha Lee
Restaurant Owner
Developed Visually
Appealing Website
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Laura Gibson
Non-Profit Director
Extremely Satisfied
With Their Services
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Jessica Patel
Hotel Manager
Their Personalized Approach
Was Remarkable
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Jessica Patel
Freelance Writer
Let’s Talk I Don’t Bite But Your Customers Will
After reading my copy, your clients won’t be just biting, they will be begging you for seconds!
talk nowYour Brand from ‘Meh’ to ‘Wowzers’!
Words are power, give me a call & we will abuse the hell out of them!